Dear Happy New Year Diary!

Dear Happy New Year Diary! ❤

I can’t believe how fast the last year went past, but also when I look back at it so so much has happened. I visited South Korea is Febuary and that was just before I was planning to come
back to the internet. I can’t believe I’ve been back for nearly that long! So much has happened, the world has been going crazy, and my life too has changed so much since then.
I feel closer to people on my onlyfans than ever before, I’ve pushed my content so much further than I ever have before. I’ve shown parts of my body and personality that I never thought I would, and honestly, even
with all the difficulty that came with it. I feel happy coming into the new year. I was a bit cheeky and slept for the first few days a lot 😣 but that just counts as me refreshing mmkayyy ^-^
I want to share some of that warmth and happiness with you too. I’m going to give you all the content you could want this year.. but I want to give you more too.
I wish I could reach out and touch you. Just to say thank you, because every one that’s here has built a community that (mostly lol) is like a little sanctuary for me. Yes, it’s a little naughty but who wants to have a sanctuary that’s
not kinky, naughty and fun? ;o

Anyway, I’m writing this and I’m thinking about what small thing I can give to you individually, because when I’m posting and reading through my onlyfans, I read a lot of things written by you that make my day better.
So maybe I can write something, and just for one second, if even a little bit.. make your day better?

I’m about to get into bed, and I’m wearing one of those blanket hoodies. You know the one’s that are like a whole duvet made into a hoodie? Underneath is my warm little chest.. white panties and fluffy white socks.
I want to describe it all to you, so you can be here with me, for just a minute. I want you to feel the soft, warm skin around my thighs. To feel the frilly white panties that have a slight tear on the back, the smell of my perfume
and my hair. I want you to feel my hands in yours – delicate and small. The sensation of your fingers on my lips, I want you to feel my heat and warmth. I want you to be there with me, to feel my neck. To look into my eyes, which are a little
tired and puffy. To hear my voice, to whisper to you about something you love. To find out what that is, and explore you as you explore me. To have our feet touch under a blanket, to look out at the stars. To take us both away from all this stressful life, for just a minute. Me and you.

I’m just like you. Let’s make the new year a good year. I can’t wait to take you on adventures.
Goodnight, sleep well, yours,
Sleepy Belle ❤

I think I’m going to start my diary tonight

Dear Diary,

I think I’m going to start my diary tonight by being as real as possible, I have never felt like it’s my place to be negative and to talk about those kinds of things on the internet. I always wanted to smile and give you all of my weird, craziness.. but I think this journey has made me grow and I feel a closeness with a lot of people on here that I honestly, never thought I would have. I think that possibly by allowing myself to talk about negative things just this once, maybe we can get closer and bond more.

I’m going to try and end this diary on a sweet note because, a lot of stuff has actually been going great recently 🙃

So, I think when I decided to do the whole porn thing, I released it to the world and said that a sex tape was coming.. Of course I wanted people to be super excited, as I was too.. I mean I’ve trolled around with showing parts of myself for so long now that I had to actually lift my top on twitter as a way to proving to everyone that I wasn’t joking heh. It was exciting and I am excited to keep showing you all the things you want the most, I think that’s my real relationship with why I love doing this so much, it’s that naughty, secret giving to people who really appreciate it and want it, and I love and truly get off to that. I think the expectation on the internet has been a bit much, for me, this was meant to be the start of learning to do something new and a journey to give everyone, including me, something new. The problem was, people believed that I was some professional pornstar that knew how to do everything instantly, that knew exactly what type of porn every single individual wanted to see, there has been a lot of criticism that I do understand of course, because I’m rational..

I am Belle Delphine and I’ve also created Belle Delphine as this character on the internet, and I think it’s so easy to think that I’m not even real, that I’m some kind of fairy dust for views on youtube, or that I’m just a character, but I’m just human like you (and yes, I may not be living your life, be male or be able to drive a car or ride a bike properly >.>) but, I don’t think anyones emotions are dead enough not to feel the intense, hyper personal criticism of people on youtube, or in the comments, or even creators that I’ve spoken to who I thought were close to me that have bababooyed me in the most personal, vulnerable way.

It does sting and I do feel it. I’m not saying this because it makes me want to quit, I don’t. Because I like it, I want to keep going because its what I want to do.. but I just think maybe it’s time to connect with you all more. To explain and let you understand things from me, like I’m with you. Like I’m not something that’s so far away that’s it’s all smiles and kisses, that sometimes it’s weak and sometimes being weak is closer than being strong.

I don’t know why the frick I decided to write this diary entry and 3:30 am but I just wanted to talk to you. So, I’m going to talk about one of the things I love most.

I have this keychain that I’ve always rubbed for good luck out of superstition. I got it so long ago that I can barely remember where I got it from, I think I found it in this charity (ooff.. whats the american word again, thrift? >.<) shop in the New Forest where I grew up and ever since It’s just been one of those things that for some reason I’ve never lost and has always travelled with me. I have had it on everyyy keychain I’ve had, it’s like this worn out cute rabbit. it’s just something that I’ve become so attached to over time, maybe one day I’ll show it to you but it’s just so personal to me lol. Anyway, I always rub it for luck and I feel like whenever I’m out and it’s on my keychain I’ll just be safe and always make it home haha. It sounds really crazy but I love it, it has so many memories and nostalgia for me. Do you have anything like that? I hope I’m not the only one >.<

Anyway, I promised I’d end it on a good note and I’ve been rubbing the frick out of that keychain tonight so, it’s all going to be okay ^-^ hahaha, okay! I really really need to sleep. I can’t wait to talk to you again soon <3

Goodnight you. <3

Christmas was crazy

Dear Diary,
Christmas was crazy, It was like a combination of excitement and fear, like a rollercoaster. I’m so glad that I did it, and I think now that I’ve done it pushing it further will be easier, like I’m over the big drop and the rest is just fun ^-^

The last few days I’ve barely slept lmao. Everything is closed and I just want to escape the circle world that I’m in right now. I feel like the only thing that exists is my house hahaha. It’s like I’m on a trial in an online game and can’t leave the starter zone..

I had this huge Harry Potter theme in my house ready for New Years Eve but we’re in total lockdown now, I mean.. at-least the house looks cool 😎 I can run around pretending to be Hermione Granger, maybe that will help me escape for now heh.

I wonder about all of you too, about what you’re doing, what you’re like and the things you’re thinking about in your life too. I wish I could see into your life like a window and talk to you super personally. I guess I should be more personal too! Maybe today I can be really personal and say that, this has been an incredible journey, but it has been super hard one too.. I think a lot of people don’t understand the difficulty of what its like to be viewed by everyone, to have people criticise and be so nasty to you – on things that are personal too. I know for every bad there is one hundred good, but it’s a feeling and experience a lot of people don’t understand. To be online, in this way, is like having a window into your life, one that is so vulnerable. In that vulnerability you have to be strong.. I guess that’s the tough part, and where the magic is, because so many of you I’ve become close to, and so many of you have been so nice. It’s a connection that has bridged so much further than I ever thought it would.

I got roller-skates for Christmas btw! They are pink and yellow and have a real 80’s vibe, which was fricken awesome 🙂 I remember ages ago in the summer I’d go rollerskating super late at night in the city and around the park. Once I actually thought I was so cool I made my friend drive up this hill and record me going down it, it’s safe to say I don’t think it was as cool as I thought it was because I literally slammed into the floor coming into this tunnel, and my elbow got scraped up so bad, I cried and they had it all on video hahaha. The thought in my head was I could sell this to failarmy when I was watching it but hell no I was so embarrassed.. I actually don’t think I’ve been on roller-skates since lmao.. but here is to a new year and new me, time to try again ^-^ I was going really fast though and it was kinda epic so don’t think too embarrassingly of me lol!

I feel like there is so much stuff to do in the summer, the nights are so warm and the skies light late. As I’m writing this I’m sat in my lounge and you can hear this crazy rain and wind from my chimney, there is a big storm outside tonight. Okay this is weird but, storms actually make me feel really relaxed, does anyone else feel that? I feel like the wind, rain and hail outside it just asmr to my warm little sanctuary.

I say sanctuary but I haven’t tidied up and I am refusing to tidy up 🙂 I am just sat here watching a crime documentary and just 🙂 nope.

Anyway!! I’m going to cook up some noodles as it’s all the food I have left >.>
The world is changing so much, and feeling connection over the internet to things, places and people really is magical! I hope we can connect more.. if you like talking like this?

I’m excited for the future, and I can’t wait to continue this adventure to part 2, so here is to you and to me <3 lots of love.
Belle xx

Dear diary <3

Dear diary <3

I had this moment today on the Impaulsive podcast where I was over thinking when I was talking and I totally went on a day dream and really spaced out. I kinda fell back into the conversation and had like a mini-heart attack.
I just remembered looking down at my socks and had this weird flashback to when I was in elementary school and some boy just pulled one of my socks off and threw it on the roof? Do you ever do that and just totally disconnect from conversation? lmao

It’s coming to the end of my night here, it’s 2am and damn it’s been so cold recently I’m covered in blankets on my sofa downstairs and barely want to move. Things have been crazy here, I miss the days of laying in bed, reading and staring out the window watching the leaves on the tree’s blow in the wind. Showing more of my personality and talking on Podcasts and to the internet has been really surreal. I remember when I used to watch some of these podcasts in my room in the city. I kinda miss that small room with all my stuff packed in, there was this warm orange light outside from the street lamp. When i laid my head back I remember I could see this apartment block in the distance and all the lights from the windows, there was one person in there who had multicoloured lights. Sometimes it would be red, sometimes blue, sometimes purple. I remember thinking that It used to be a sign, that the color was the mood that night was going to be. I used to pick music and watch movies based upon the color. It sounds really strange, I wonder what color it is right now.. ✨

I was thinking, thank you for being here with me. Reading some of your comments makes my heart feel happy, like that warm kind of happy that you get when you’ve worked a long hard day and you lay in your duvet watching your favourite film, or reading your favourite book. I’m happy.. happy, nervous, excited and sleepy. I think something I’ve learnt is sometimes it’s so nice to just close the world. I think of my bed and my room at night like the whole world doesn’t exist, like I’m just in a little warm capsule with a big storm outside. Safe and cozy. I think tonight you’ve made me smile, I hope I can make you smile too. I luv u <3

MY FANTASY PART 2 <3

MY FANTASY PART 2 <3
(read part 1 first) <3

I can feel how long and thick you are, I can even feel the veins as I run my tongue up and down. You watch me, like a helpless, thirsty subservient toy. I push my face towards the top of your underwear and settle my teeth around them, pulling down whilst moaning. You put me back in my place by jerking my head backwards with your hand on my hair, your other hand firmly finding it’s way to my nipples. You can see them standing out of my white tee-shirt, small and hard. You squeeze them painfully and I cry out that I’m sorry. I didn’t realise just how hard they were, I couldn’t stop thinking about what was about to be in my mouth. “Do.. do you like them?” I asked, shyly. “I do” you reply. I can hear you pull down your underwear. “What are you going to-“ I can’t finish my sentence before I can feel something pressed against my lips. It’s warm and hard. I open my mouth and you place your hard cock onto my tongue. I wrap my saliva covered tongue around the tip and close my lips around. I feel you pushing forward as you’re opening my throat. “Holy fuck, it just keeps going”. You look down and see my little throat stretching out. I gag and cough as you slowly pull it back out. “More more more more” I say over and over again as you see a small tear roll down from under my blindfold. My lips are wrapped around tightly, my tongue caressing every inch as I finally feel it’s been pushed in fully.

You whisper “Well done” in my ear as I bounce my ass up and down on the chair. I open my mouth fully, lips apart as you push in and out of my mouth like it’s a Fleshlight, tears streaming down my face as I try and take it. I can feel my saliva all over my chest, I look down and through a small opening in the blind-fold I see that my top is nearly see-through from how wet it is. You pull your cock out of my throat, put your hands firmly around my neck and ***** me, my visions going blurry and I’m lightheaded. You tear off my blind fold and you see my eyes rolling back from how much I love it. You slap me to consciousness and I come back to reality with your hands ripping my teeshirt and bra off. My small, soft tits bounce as you rip the last piece of fabric off of me. My tiny pink nipples are so hard, you grab them, move your head down and wrap your tongue around my warm, tiny, pink nipples.

I’m really bouncing up and down now. I want it so much. I want to be your toy. I grip my hands together behind my back as you suck on my nipples. “I’m so horny I want to scream” I blurt out. You pull away from my tits and stand up, your large hard cock next to my face. “I want it, pleaseee. I’ll do whatever you want to have it”.

You look down at the chair and notice a wet patch pooling underneath my g-string. You harshly grab my legs and lift them up tying them up at the top of the chair, next to my arms. My pussy, g-string and ass facing forward as I’m in a U shape on the chair… you slowly pull up my g-string, you first see my tight little asshole.. then the tiny piece of black fabric slowly slides out from between my pussy. You can see the glistening, wet pink little hole. As you’re pulling them off, you can feel the sticky, wet warmth on your finger as you run it over my pussy. “Use me”.. my legs are tied up, wide apart.. I feel so vulnerable. “please..” My voice fading. “Use me”.

“Not before I train you” you say, sternly.

My eyes work their way over your twitching, hard cock and down your legs, behind you I can see a leather box. You turn around and drag it forward, by the sound of it being pulled over the rugged wooden floor, it’s heavy. As you open it, your hand disappears inside.

“Right, which toy should we train you with?”

I stay quiet.

“A vibrator?”

I stay quiet

“A big one?”

My leg twitches accidentally from being tied up.

“Ah”

From the box you take out a long, thick skin coloured dildo and a black ball gag. You turn back to me, I’m shivering with anticipation. You press the ball gag into my mouth, and tie it around the back of my neck. I can’t move. I can’t speak. I really am about to be trained, and there is nothing I can do about it. You place the toy next to me, press your fingers on my warm pink hole and push them in hard. As I feel your fingers sliding in my feet flex and my toes separate. You can hear the whimpering pleasure of my moans under my gag. Moving your fingers up and down you can feel the wet walls of my hole, my cum running down onto your hand. You start pushing your fingers up and down faster as you feel what’s left of the movement in my body push toward them. “Fuck. I can’t be cumming already” I think to myself as I’m overcome by shooting ecstasy sensations down my legs.

You abruptly pull out your fingers, pulling down my gag and push them into my throat. Making me taste how much I want you. You roughly place the gag back in my mouth, and grab the toy next to you. I barely so much as get a chance to look at it before it’s pushed apart my hole and is quickly sliding its way to the back, my eyes rolling back, legs shaking. You hear muffled screaming moans under my saliva covered gag. “Good girl” “You’re doing so well”. My moaning only getting louder as you push it back and forth roughly, you can hear my soaked pussy stretching, you push it all the way to the back and step backwards, leaving the dildo pushed in. You can see my little pink hole gripping around it, sticking out of me with a stream of my cum pooling underneath my ass.

You turn to the box, but at this point I can barely see. All I can focus on is the feeling of this hard, ribbed dildo slowly sliding out of me whilst my pussy grips it.. as every ridge moves a sensation of rippling pleasure pierces through my whole body. My head falls down as I’m battling with the pleasure. I can see my whole chest is wet from the saliva falling from my mouth gag, my hard nipples glistening with my spit. I see your hand move back towards the dildo, you push it back into me. “Keep it in like a good girl”. As it slides back in, fully filling my hole, I see another toy in your other hand. You push it forward, and I feel it rubbing against my wet asshole. I try to shout out with “wait!” But all you can hear is muffled moaning. I can feel my tight little ass being pushed apart.

I can’t stand it anymore. You’ve barely put in the tip and a rush of heat fills my entire body, my feet tense as my legs start shaking. I’m cumming. I’m cumming so fucking hard. I can feel both of them, I’m so full. I’m shaking and screaming. You push your hand around my throat, my eyes fully roll back, saliva pouring out of my mouth. I start losing consciousness again, all I can feel, see, or am aware of is my whole body shaking, and the sensation of two, big toys almost touching each other inside of me, the only thing in-between them is a wet, stretched, twitching wall. You slap me and I explode with pleasure, a rushing sensation fills my entire body and I arch my back and push my chest up, the dildo that was in my pussy slides out and I squirt a glistening stream of cum as my whole body is shaking.

Your soaking wet hard cock can’t resist anymore. You pound your barely conscious little toy, pulling out the dildo from my ass and fucking both my holes. I’m in a fit of constant moaning. As you feel my pussy grip you, you’re about to cum. You pull off my gag, push the chair back so it falls onto the floor. Stand over my face and cum all over my mouth. I’m staring into your eyes as you empty your huge load all over my face. With all the energy I have left, all I can say is “Thank you..”